if you are cisgender and  arguing with a transgender person about what is or isnt transphobic then you have already lost

if you are white and arguing with a poc about what is or isnt racist then you have already lost

if you are straight and arguing with a queer person about what is or isnt homophobic then you have already lost

if you are part of a majority and arguing with an oppressed group about what is or isnt offensive to the oppressed group then you have already lost and your arguing is only helping to perpetuate oppressive ideals and commentary